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Is this the worst poem ever written?

Matt Haig’s poem about beach bodies featured in Meghan Markle’s guest edit of Vogue .

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Topics Culture Feminism UK

Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle has guest-edited the September edition of British Vogue.

Predictably, it is packed full of woke celebrities and causes, from climate change to body image. It also features a poem by Matt Haig – ‘A note from the beach’ – which might be the worst poem ever written.

The poem is about the pressure (coming, ironically, from magazines like Vogue) to get the perfect beach body. Only it’s told from the perspective of the beach. ‘Hello. I am the beach’, it begins, later adding: ‘I am entirely indifferent to your body mass index.’

This morning, Haig read out the poem on the Today programme. You really have to hear it to believe it:

Has Her Royal Highness discovered the next poet laureate?

To enquire about republishing spiked’s content, a right to reply or to request a correction, please contact the managing editor, Viv Regan.

Topics Culture Feminism UK

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