Why does the UN think that men can be lesbians?

Dear men – do you want to be a lesbian? Maybe you’ve a penchant for plaid flannel shirts, or perhaps you’ve been inspired by some pornography you’ve seen recently. Well, according to the United Nations’ Free and Equal campaign, you too can be a lesbian. Neither beard, balls nor bellend need be a barrier to exploring your supposed sapphic identity.

This week, UN Free and Equal – which apparently exists to ‘increase awareness of and support for equal rights and fair treatment of LGBTIQ+ people’ – marked International Lesbian Day by vomiting the following words on to X:

‘The lesbian community is incredible and diverse. Lesbians have many gender expressions, body types and sex characteristics. They are also of any race, ethnicity, class or background. Today we celebrate them all.’

Accompanying the post were those ubiquitous Corporate Memphis cartoons, so beloved of diversity, equity and inclusion departments. Bland elongated figures in various approved shades of brown were shown prancing around (aside from the obligatory one in a wheelchair), apparently being lesbian. The super-inclusive graphics were accompanied by insipid slogans such as ‘all lesbians are welcome’, ‘there’s no one way to be a lesbian’ and ‘trans lesbians are lesbians’.

No one really needs to be told that, as a group, lesbians are diverse. Only a moron would believe that they come in just one colour or body type. What they don’t have, however, are penises.

By casting those who reject the idea of ‘trans lesbians’ (ie, male lesbians) as bigots, the UN Free and Equal campaign is slyly smearing its ideological opponents. The implicit suggestion is that to question whether someone like Eddie Izzard is really a woman, or indeed really a lesbian, is to be on par with being a nasty, exclusionary racist.

Outside of the usual NGO circle-jerkers, some actual lesbians were understandably insulted by Free and Equal’s ‘inclusive’ definition. Kate Barker, CEO of LGB Alliance (the UK’s only charity to exclusively advocate for same-sex-attracted people), told me that the concept of a ‘lesbian in a man’s body’ reminded her of a bad comedy gag from the 1970s: ‘It wasn’t funny then and it’s grotesque now, especially when it comes from an organisation with such unparalleled global reach and influence as the UN. This isn’t just offensive and insulting – it is incredibly dangerous.’

For Barker, the UN is ‘reinforcing the message that lesbians aren’t allowed to have boundaries’. It insinuates ‘that they are bigots if they refuse to date men’. ‘The UN might think it’s being progressive’, she said, ‘but lesbians see it for what it is – the reincarnation of those seedy, predatory men who told us we just hadn’t “met the right man yet, love”.’

Barker is far from alone in feeling unsettled and angry at the campaign. UN Free and Equal attracted much ridicule and outrage, not least from author JK Rowling, who wrote on X in response: ‘Lesbians don’t have dicks and trying to shame them into accepting men into their dating pools is homophobic.’

Maybe the UN’s social-media posts would have been barely excusable, had they been the result of some over-zealous intern. But they are simply repeating the Free and Equal line. On the campaign group’s website, a definition states: ‘A lesbian can have any gender identity, gender expression or sex characteristics.’ By arguing that men can be lesbians, the UN Free and Equal campaign has taken on the trolling role that used to be occupied by sexist neckbeards on 4Chan.

The UN needs to be reminded that ‘lesbian’ is not a porn category. It is not a costume for men to step into or a resource to be mined for equalities’ funding. Lesbians are adult female homosexuals. It really is as uncomplicated as that.

Jo Bartosch is a journalist campaigning for the rights of women and girls.